Dating Handbook for Mushers who Attempt To Date Non-Mushers
Rule #1: Talk about more than your dogs.
Rule #2: Poopy is not considered an acceptable topic of dinner conversation to non-mushers.
Rule #3: Bringing up your opposite sex handler in conversation is just about as bad as talking about your ex.
Rule #3A: In fact, the term "male handler" or "female handler" likely means something entirely different to non-mushers than it does to mushers
Rule #4: When your date asks what kinds of things you like to do, lie and make something up. The fact that all you do is dog mush and work to pay for dog mushing makes you sound obsessed and insane. Which you are, but you should hide this fact until they fall for you.
Rule #5: Check your shoes for dog poop before leaving the house for your date.
Rule #6: It's best to have a non-musher give you the smell of approval before your date, since you probably no longer even notice whether or not you smell like dog.
Rule #7: Don't let them in your dogtruck on the first date. Even though you can't smell it, rest assured that your truck smells like dog too.
Rule #8: If the person you are dating has kids, try not to share your views on the benefits of crating and leashing children until after the wedding vows are exchanged.
Rule #9: Avoid any types of conversations about how much time you actually spend dog mushing in the fall and winter. They don't need to know yet that there are only two seasons in the year for you: mushing season and dating season.
Rule #10: When asked how many dogs you have, "oh, around 8 or so" is an acceptable answer until the 5th or 6th date. Then blame the extra dogs on your lousy math. After all if you were actually good at math you'd probably realize you can't afford however many dogs you have anyway.
Rule #3: Bringing up your opposite sex handler in conversation is just about as bad as talking about your ex.
Rule #3A: In fact, the term "male handler" or "female handler" likely means something entirely different to non-mushers than it does to mushers
Rule #4: When your date asks what kinds of things you like to do, lie and make something up. The fact that all you do is dog mush and work to pay for dog mushing makes you sound obsessed and insane. Which you are, but you should hide this fact until they fall for you.
Rule #5: Check your shoes for dog poop before leaving the house for your date.
Rule #6: It's best to have a non-musher give you the smell of approval before your date, since you probably no longer even notice whether or not you smell like dog.
Rule #7: Don't let them in your dogtruck on the first date. Even though you can't smell it, rest assured that your truck smells like dog too.
Rule #8: If the person you are dating has kids, try not to share your views on the benefits of crating and leashing children until after the wedding vows are exchanged.
Rule #9: Avoid any types of conversations about how much time you actually spend dog mushing in the fall and winter. They don't need to know yet that there are only two seasons in the year for you: mushing season and dating season.
Rule #10: When asked how many dogs you have, "oh, around 8 or so" is an acceptable answer until the 5th or 6th date. Then blame the extra dogs on your lousy math. After all if you were actually good at math you'd probably realize you can't afford however many dogs you have anyway.
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